Timon's Week. (Pt. 1: A Hellish Start.)

Kabort Motorsport
Apr 1, 2023
7 min read

Wednesday 15th March, 2023

Timon shouldn't have done what Timon just did.

Despite having 5 advisories on Timon's MOT Test, I did exactly what any intelligent man would do and did a several hundred mile (nearing a thousand) miles road trip in a car that needed looking at.

Now, these weren't immediate/urgent - but with enough time, these could quickly become serious/severe.

In retrospect, booking events in the days following my MOT (Test) was probably not the smartest idea - had it failed (in more aspects than just tyres and a lightbulb), I would have been beyond fucked - in many aspects.

Admittedly, these (issues) weren't new - my car was exactly the same as it was before the MOT Test - two of the advisories even appearing on a Pre-MOT Test I had done (shocked Pikachu Face)

The point of an MOT (Test) is to flag these issues so they can be resolved - it's like a health check-up at the Doctors - you're the same health as you walked in, you just now know how long you've got left to live.

I was stupidly lucky - and quite possibly used up my entire "pot luck" for the year.

Whilst in a more "convenient" location to break down in comparison to Scotland (where we went in 2021) - had anything happened, it would have been far from ideal - especially if I had been in a place with no/low signal.

For the entire week I was in Devon, Timon was absolutely golden, and even on The Night of the 15th March, unlike Kiara, it was nothing under the hood that went wrong - it was to do with his locking system.

Context out of the way. Let's begin.

The Night.

At 5:31pm, I left Lidl in Exeter.

The journey took no longer than 4 hours, and we'd arrive at Charis' house at about 8:30pm - 8:45pm and took her stuff inside the house.

Now, at this point, I could have unloaded the car, and then jumped in and headed straight to Eastbourne (or to Ruislip and then Eastbourne) - but I was invited in and didn't want to be rude, so I went out, locked the car and came into the house.

Shortly before 9pm (8:57pm), I return to the car and I report to Will:

"Right. Timon's lock is being weird" and explained

"I can turn it the full way and it won't unlock".

(Usually I just have to turn it 90 degrees to lock/unlock - now I was able to rotate it 360 degrees)

Being an older car, I knew sometimes hislocks can be a bit funny - a bit stiff - and when I come back, I can do it - just one of his quirks.

I can't remember the exact order of events - but I think to myself "I'll come back later and try again".

At 9:15pm, Will first jokes about smashing in the window (foreshadowing).

Come 9:44pm, Will first asks if he's needed (to come to my location).

At 9:49pm, I tried turning the key and pulling the key simultaneously (in the lock) towards me - to no avail.

At 9:55pm, I made my first of MANY (20) calls that evening, to the RAC...customer service line which was obviously closed.

Just 5 minutes later, I'd contact them on the breakdown line (10pm)

Of course - because it was nothing mechanical/nothing wrong with the car itself - and needed an independent locksmith to look at - it wasn't covered on my breakdown cover and would cost £140.

At 10:46pm, I finally open up to Will and be brutally honest about my situation.

I'd finally admit I needed help at 11:07pm - 2 hours and 10 minutes after I initially reported the issue.

14 minutes later, he'd set off. (11:21pm)

A further 10 minutes after this, (11:30pm), I call up the hotel to say that it's going to be at least 2 - 3am before I'd make it to the hotel.

At about 01:15am, he'd arrive and like the legend he was, he bought along all the parts I had bought (he ordered) for the following day's garage-work.

Of course, at about 01:00am or so, I left the house - and OF COURSE shut the door behind me, it locking (as it should) - so I was now locked outside at 1am - with the rest of Charis and her family asleep.

At 01:50am, I asked to be let back in - but, obviously, to no avail - I'm just glad it wasn't snowing like it was on the morning we left for Devon.

At 01:54am, I got a call/quote from a key-cutting company - letting me know it'd be £400 to send someone out (in 3-5 days).

At 02:11am, I was pretty much at my wits end and decided to try one last avenue.

To see if RAC could tow me to the Isle Of Wight. I only had my house key (and car key) on me - and at least I could discuss where I could go from there with my parents.

Ferry or not, it would cost me £400 - and that would only be to get me home (or Lymington Port) - so, myself, Will and Jodie had just one choice left - and I wasn't going to like it...

It then hit me that this was real life and this was happening.

My first thought was "I couldn't possibly do that to Timon"

then my mind went to remembering seeing a guy already walk past us earlier in the night - with us looking very...suspicious around Timon and then smashing the window in, I think was the cherry on the cake.

It must have been about 2:25am when Will finally smashed the Window using a Breaker Bar.

Just like the window, both myself and the tension that night shattered - we all let a sigh of relief.

With a way into the car, Will climbed in through the rear window and unlocked the car from the inside.

We were all massively relieved.

I may have been missing a window, but this whole ordeal was over - we could all return to a bed (wherever that may be) and have a good* night's sleep.

After 6 hours, I was finally reunited with my bag, Timon and a car - MY Car, I could drive to a hotel - and it costed a grand total of £0.00 to do.

The best part? Even before I had arrived in Eastbourne, Will had ordered a new window that was due to arrive the very next day - quicker than an old man could come and shimmy my door open.

I was just glad it was all over.

Yup. That's Me, You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation...

It does strike me as strange/ironic/coincidental that of everything that could go wrong on Timon - he chose the moment that we were both outside the car - and I didn't have my coat. Like he was trying to tell me something like "get out and stay out." - but that might just be a misinterpretation.

TL;DR:

I got locked out of my car. The key (itself) was fine, the lock barrel - simply put - was fucked. The car didn't come with an electronic key/fob/button, so the only way in was inserting a key. (the passenger door key was already fucked).

We all knew that with the window now missing, air turbulence was going to be brutal (think opening a window on the motorway) - this was temporarily rectified by using a plastic nurse's apron - although this hardly made it out of the local town before being ripped to shreds by the wind.

It's fair to say the window didn't QUITE make it to Eastbourne

On the drive there, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place - my hotel was almost 2 hours away (1hr 42 mins) - the faster I went, the worse the flapping plastic got - the slower I went, the longer I'd have to endure this...simply put: hell.

50mph was just about bareable - the plastic sounding like the huffing of a steam train.

Upon arriving in Eastbourne, another problem presented itself:

I (well, Will) had just smashed my window - and with the "window" (or lack thereof) in the state it was in, I wasn't quite ready to leave it in a car-park unattended.

To kill the time – and make a decision, I decided to go to McDonalds at Polegate - and I decided that since it was only a couple of hours until I had to get going again - my safest bet would be to park up (in a multi-storey car-park) and sleep in the car.

So I decided to park up and get a few winks sleeping in Timon - with the window-less side to the wall (parked next to the up-ramp to the next level)

I'll admit. It wasn't the best night's sleep - and I arrived at Maccies about 10 minutes before they started serving breakfast, but... time passed and that's all that mattered.

Why did it take so long for this to get sorted?

(And why didn't you call Will at 9pm when the problem was first noticed?)

Firstly, because I was incredibly hesitant about Will coming out, (or calling Will out) due to personal reasons - more specifically, due to where I was and why.

This partially had to do with the fact that I had just come back from a near 900-mile road-trip (miles accumulated post-MOT) in a car not exactly in 100% tip-top condition.

It didn't help - as mentioned before - I was where I was and had work booked in for the following days - meaning I couldn't spare a day (or 3) of the car just sitting about doing nothing.

Secondly, because I attempted to go down every possible route (other than calling him) and wanted to sort this without Will's intervention - but this turned out to not be possible.

Will's bent over backwards for me for the past 5 years - and I owed him big time - even before this night and the last thing I wanted is to have another thing to owe him for.

4. Even if I had gone straight to Eastbourne, I'd be cutting it tight with the hotel check-in time - a good half of my time spent that night was on the phone to both the RAC and the hotel, explaining my predicament.

5. My final choices:

Getting car towed home (Isle Of Wight): £400

Getting a locksmith out (to just unlock the car, not fix it): £400 Not to mention this would be in 3-5 working days

RAC 24hr Locksmith: £140

6. That night I made/recieved 18 different calls/from:

- The RAC

- The RAC Locksmith Department

- My Hotel for that night

- AA (accidental call)

- Car-key Cutting Company

(01:11am)